This is an open letter. Yes we know open letters are a little uncool and can sometimes look like an angry celeb having a rant for no good reason.
However, we are going to make an exception today because one of the team (me) had to deal with yet another incident of completely selfish and unthoughtful parking.
Wait, that’s too polite. Stupid parking. Idiot parking. We know you understand our pain. So here goes.
Dear driver of the black, 2015 Audi (there’s a surprise) A6 Avant
You parked next to me this morning. I had taken the time to reverse park my car into the designated parking space.
A space which, given I drive a Range Rover (and no that isn’t me in the pictures 🙄), afforded me plenty of room. As my car is bigger than some, I try to ensure I level off right in the centre.
This ensures I have time to open my doors and my parking neighbour can get into their car without having to go on an extreme celeb diet to squidge their way into their own vehicle.
I ought to point out here that it doesn’t take me very long to ensure I have left enough space. In fact this morning I was running late and in a terrible hurry, but I still managed to put a little thought into those who may be affected by a half cocked attempt at abandoning my car.
I whizzed around the shop to grab a few bits I needed at work. Returned to my car and what did I find?
Your car. At first sight I was concerned that some kind of drive by was taking place, or that there might be an emergency so you had needed to come to a sudden halt, dive out of the door and let you car roll to a stop.
However I studied the surroundings and soon came to the decision that there was no obvious looking issue.
I’m not a human who likes to make a fuss, after seeing the recent Martin Clunes parking fiasco, I realised that sometimes there are more important things to worry about.
Unfortunately though, you had wedged your offensively dull vehicle so close to mine that I needed a tin opener to get INTO my car.
It was at this point I noticed the pin dent you had left when you extracted your body, god know’s how, out of your driving seat.
As you can imagine I am not particularly pleased I now have a car dent repair bill to pay. You know it’s probably around £50.00 and it stings a little because I would far rather invest that cash on teaching morons like you how to park, so that people like me don’t end up seething every time we nip to the shops.
I hope you have a good day. I haven’t.
From, your angry parking neighbour.
P.S Yes. The four letter word written on the boot of your car was me. You’re welcome.